My Kid’s A Drunk

by Courtney Sirotin on April 25, 2012

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Not really, of course, but hanging out with Dylan is like taking care of a drunk person. (Don’t worry, no toddlers were inebriated in the making of this post. The above wine glass was clean.)

Top 10 Ways My Toddler Is Like A Drunk Person

1. Reckless Driving

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2. Inability to Walk in a Straight Line

I clear his path all day long and he still trips and falls every few feet!

3. Streaking

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4. Plopping Down in the Middle of a Public Place and Refusing to Move

A quintessential toddler/drunk person trait.

6. Passing Out in my Backseat

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5. Irrational Bouts of Emotion, Particularly Crying

One minute we’re playing happily and the next he’s on the floor bawling because I can’t read his mind and didn’t know he wanted THAT TOY OVER THERE! Cheap wine has the same effect on people.

7. Sloppy Eating

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8. Peeing His Pants

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9. Drunk Dialing

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(Can’t tell you how many times I take my phone from him and see he’s been calling random people on my contact list.)

10. Poor Decision Making

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Think about those nights you’ve been out with a friend who drank too much. Some moments were hysterically funny and some were probably a little annoying but overall they were times you won’t soon forget…

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

RUSS April 25, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Reminds me of his Grandmother……………

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COURTNEY April 26, 2012 at 2:20 am

Now that you mention it…

Reply

DONNA CUSHING April 26, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I see your point! Only thing is Dylan is much cuter than any drunk I know!

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